(Something I posted on facebook that I thought I should share)
I almost flunked out of college my first year- to the point where I was highly debating just dropping out all together- I was depressed and didn’t see the point of me going to school or planning for a future, when it probably wasn’t going to take off anywhere. I felt very alone and isolated. I could go on, but to put it simply, I have lost all vision and motivation to keep moving forward; I was in a rut.
The end freshman year, I was almost positive I wasn’t going to be allowed back, but by some grace of God or pure luck, I ended up acing one of my 5 classes, ultimately saving myself from getting kicked out.
The following year I set up to do better,I sought out mental health , I changed my major, and had my friends keep me accountable. I found classes , and a job that I loved and set up a school/work schedule so it would be easier for me to study.
However another obstacle came in the way- due to my low GPA, I no longer met the standards to qualify for financial aid, I didn’t have the money to pay for any of my classes. This caused significant stress on me, resulting in me picking up more shifts and another job to pay off for school, and not enough time for me to actually study and take care of my schooling.
Plus the fact that I had to build my GPA back up- which was nearly impossible to do in just one semester alone ( so many courses to repeat ), so even though I finally began to do well in my classes, my GPA still wasn’t where it should be.
So many tears and sleepless nights were involved. I doubted myself, I constantly didn’t know if I could do it- and considered dropping out again, and just working full time
Towards the middle of second semester, I had to turn a few works of writing to my Comm professor. I’ve always loved writing, and have always wanted to incorporate that into any future career I will have.
He went out of his way to let me know that my articles were some of the best in the class and he wanted to work with me on getting my work published- I’ve always thought I was a good writer, but here was a professional journalist himself, telling me the same thing. He wanted to help me become a better writer.
And it was that reminder that I’m in school not just to take tests and get good grades, but to build my skill as a writer, as a human, to learn about the world and how I can use my words, and my voice to change it. I am powerful, I am intelligent, and I’m not going to let my worth be determined by an education system that tells their students they aren’t smart because they can’t answer the correct response in a multiple choice test. This is where I want to be, this is where I’m going to grow, and it doesn’t matter if the world is working against me, the fact that I’m continuing to go to school and fight until I get my degree is all that matters
At the end of last semester, I was just barely making ( actually crawling ) to the finish line, but I did finish. That’s all that matters
And here I am about to enter my third year of college, finally at a GPA that not only meets CSUF’s standards, but mine as well. I quit my second job to make time for now my TWO majors, that I’m absolutely in love with( Entertainment/ Tourism and American Studies), and I’m happy with my current job. I’m surrounded by the best of friends who are walking with me in this everyday, and by inspiration of others who never gave up on their education even when it seemed like there was no way they could go on.
And to my dear friends, my favorite girls and For everyone else who have stood by my side the last 3 years I thank you and I love you all. It’s going to be rough the next couple of years, but I just keep telling myself to look where I am, and to remember where I started.
Fall 2016 I’m coming for you, and I’m so ready, and I’m going to keep moving forward
“I’m not throwing away my shot ”
Not this time. Not ever